Shopping for work clothes for some
can be heaven...for others, hell.
Me? I live somewhere in between.
I won't lie and say I don't like this game of dress-up - big guys look better in suits (husky, as my dad used to kindly say)
But, I'm picky and hate shopping for what I like.
Most of all, working in non-profit,
for and with the poor at times
I personally find expensive clothes sickening
But! This is a uniform for work,
it shows respect to my peers and those I serve
it gives me confidence to be bold and effective
So, we have to do it...but..
Why can't we like it?
Why can't it be done on a budget?
To quote another well dressed man... YES...We.. CAN!
I've organized a FREE event on August 24, 2011
At the awesome new "Network Orange" space in Toronto
RSVP via LinkedIn or Twitter
Yes of course, we'll do a little networking before and after
but we'll gather to listen to two experts:
I was a Tip Top man, following my father's footsteps my whole life
A couple bad customer service and suits in my early working left left me wanting
Then I heard of Tom.
Every man at my non-profit office shopped there so I went to check it out.
He personally put me in the best suit of my life, at the lowest price of my life
I never looked ba
ck.
Once a year, I hit one of his sales.
One purchase, three suits for LESS than I used to pay for one suit. Harry Rosen is his buddy, Now Magazine once said..."Tom Mihalik and his team have an eye for classic tailoring and bespoke quality, guaranteeing that while your purchase may be inexpensive, it never looks cheap." - They gave me tips on how to tailor and wear suits that as a co-worker once said to me "makes you feel like a champ". One of Tom's team will be with us...
After asking around it was of course my business networking author/guru Alison Graham, author of "Business Cards to Business Relationships" who connected me wi
th someone who can help the ladies in my network. Erin Nadler is the President of Better Styled, a one-on-one by appointment shopping experience catering to the time starved women seven days a week. Erin has been featured on Canada AM, CHCH, Flare Magazine, Chatalaine, The Sun and Women's Post to name a few.
Lastly, as an added bonus to my network
I have been
nagging several folks to get new LinkedIn pictures
So! For five bucks (all of which will go to charity) a professional photographer Ahmed Nizam ( who once took a picture for the super cool TimeRaiser event, which I use as my main social media shot ) will take yours!!
A ton of value
A great evening
I have only 40 spots.
RSVP today, hope to see you there.
Paul
-----------
QUICK UPDATE! - 23 AUG
The event is B.Y.O.N. - Bring your own nametag
Yes I'm cheap, (work tags encouraged )
BUT! There will be two prizes for most creative
A prize for best tweet using #SuitUpToronto
Over $200 in prizes (all donated by my network)
At 8ish, we'll be moving the event to the brand new
Joey's Toronto for libation / sustenance
See you tomorrow!
Bring cards. Be ready.
Someone remarked to my wife the other day
"Paul's good at networking eh? I need some help with cold calling".
They meant calling someone up to ask for a job. 
Ugh.
Why not instead of asking for a date
- make a booty-call instead?
A cold call is like russian roulette.
Sure you'll win now and then,
but it only takes one loss to die.
Read my lips. NEVER cold call.
These are my secrets. In sharing them I hope they can help you and will also cause me to raise my game!
THE CONCEPT, "networking meeting" or "informational interview"
NOT held for the express purpose of this individual hiring you.
In fact if you ask them to refer you,
give them resumes and ask them to pass it on
or ask them if they're hiring you will burn that contact.
You are gaining a connection that will help you find the job opportunity, who will tell the decision maker about you and who will send you job opportunities. In fact, I often share with peers that the worst time to do this type of networking is when you're looking for a job.
Find the person who has the job you want and learn for the future.
These are the critical questions you should be asking:
- What should I be doing for the next three to five years to be you?
- What does success look like in this sector? To you?
- How did you find your way to this industry and job?
- How have you developed into the leader you are today?
- Who should I be talking to in order to learn about being the best in this profession?
BOOKING THE MEETING
Remember you are on the schedule of the person you're trying to meet with. Scope out locations ( coffee shops, restaurants ) near their office to meet.
If you are trying to stand out or be memorable try and find an alternative place they might not have tried before. Museums and public attractions have beautiful coffee houses that many who work 
in the area have never visited.
THE MEETING DAY
Never be late. Get to the location early and find the perfect table. I often speak to the staff and let them know I'm having a meeting and that if a fight to pay ensues that I must be the winner. There are so many things you cannot control, manage the things you can.
PREPARE FOR THE MEETING. Do your homework.
Research the company of the person you are meeting with, research the person
( alma mater etc ), research your meeting topic ( industry, job climate etc.. ). Networking is about being fascinating and fascinated, read up on the location, the date, social and political news.
Whatever this person is expecting, be someone different.
DURING THE MEETING
I have mentioned before that pulling your resume at a meeting like this is like accidentally touching hands when you're walking with someone you don't know. It's awkward. Don't do it.
Please refer my most popular blog post ever for a tool that you can use to discuss your key skills, accomplishments and how exactly to connect you forward. Take notes. Remember to be fearless to make promises but take enough notes to keep them if you asked for the meeting.
FOLLOW UP
Remember those promises made I mentioned? The less time between the meeting and the time you send articles, LinkedIn connection requests etc.. the most you impress this contact. It means if they refer you that you can be trusted to follow up in a timely professional fashion. Make no mis
take, it's a test.
How about a curve-ball here. The internet has killed civility. Bring it back by sending a hand-written note card of thanks for time, help and insight. My secret tip is to have the card ready, stamped and addressed to send as soon as the meeting is over. Will help you make sure you complete it when you get back to the busy office.
READY, SET, NETWORK!
Why aren't you having more of these meetings?
It's not a cold call if you've kept in touch.
Make every call, a warm call.
Make sure you build your career by using meetings like this to learn about your industry, next steps in your career and to benefit your network!
I have three a week face to face. Minimum
7:30am at the 'Bucks or lunch if it's a must
I truly hope this has been of help,
please feel free to send me comments and questions.
Paul
I was born in Toronto
I am fascinated by art and the conversations it creates
both internal and external
Much of my network loves Toronto too
Many of them are Dragonboaters who practice at Sunnyside
Others love art and need an excuse to get down to the lake...
Too many don't know about this amazing art event each September
Take a gander
Sure you have to get there but I'm writing to my business network to ask you to consider sponsoring an event that supports not just art but engagement in our beloved city.
I've crunched the numbers, affordable sponsorship rates,
good location, good traffic, three days of visibility
great media coverage
and because it's a sale, you reach a quality target market.
I have the direct hook-up to the contacts and rates
or you can contact them yourself.
Either way, please share:
Video: http://youtu.be/CMaPA-XnZTM
Site: http://www.artinitiatives.ca/sunnyside
Tweet away! @sunnyside_art
Angelika and Ania, what a great job you do of spreading the word...
Long live Toronto, love life and public art
See you there, Paul
A recent post by a leader in my sector
Kimberley MacKenzie who manages a non-profit
highlighted the superheros in her team
I loved it, and it stuck in my head...
I just returned today from watching 
Captain America - I'm a long time comic book fan so it was fun.
But it got me thinking about two people
one I know, another I read about today in the Globe
they should be referred to as Captain India & Captain Kenya
Captain Kenya, along with his countrymen are world class athletes but they work day jobs to make ends 
meet and they have left behind families that they love
Captain India is a peer of mine,
an experienced banker
Who came here to try and make a better life
for his family but they are not here,
and he works so hard out of love for them
his love, often moves to me to prayers, and tears
These men, work, do their best
they don't party, go to cottages, bbq's or golf
they work and sleep with singular focus
Today in Canada is a holiday.
I spent this day with my wife and son
who I love almost with desperation
I spent much of the day thinking about these two Captains
their courage and love
I admire and respect them so much
Like so many superhero's with great power
they cannot help the ones they love
but this is real life and we can help
I'll fight until I die for my contact
I hope someone steps up and help the Kenyans
If you have a hero like this in your life
Let me know, we should help them together
We should be their Captain Canada!
(*Apologies to my female readers for the sexist post
I know their wives work just as hard in harder conditions
to care for the children back in their home countries.
I value and respect them too. But I only know the dudes.
I hope to meet those families soon. )
A few years ago I was given a gift
by the authors of my favorite networking book: Work the Pond
They shared the secrets of conference networking which they referred to as "the olympics of networking" 
because a conference has all the toughest elements:
- Breakfast networking
- Session and break networking
- Cocktail receptions and sit down lunches / dinners
- After hours event/social networking
As always, best to consult the experts.
Read the book, visit their site and subscribe to weekly tips!
Here are a few of my favorite's I've picked up along my adventures:
1. Pre-network! Before the conference, get the delegate list early.
Send out emails to peers and set up meetings.
Consider who you want to meet, ask same peers to help you meet them.
2. Don't play by the rules.
If the conference is in your home town,
if the committee hasn't organized an out of towners dinner
- do it yourself!
No cost, just an open invite to anyone who is in town before or after. Last year I did this just using twitter and 60 people showed up!
3. Business cards are the cheapest thing in the world. Don't ever go to a conference with less than a box of them in your suitcase. Consider them to be like lottery tickets, every one given away (with context, not spam) is a possible big score
4. Get people working for you. At the conference be sure to visit the exhibitors, they have made the conference possible. After listening to them, share what you do. Often when they chat with delegates they make connections on your behalf. Remember though, be authentic, promote them when possible, seek first to provide value and it will come to you...
5. Take notes on business cards of c
conversations to help you follow up and remember people ( don't write in front of them, in some cultures it's very rude)
6. Dump the lanyard. I don't know about you but I have enough problems in my stomach area, I don't need to draw attention there. Plus they are always flipped over or out of place. Spend the $2 to get a magnetic nametag holder! Most folks have one from work, just slip that one into the conference nametag and toss the lanyard!
Ps. The proper place for a nametag is always as high as possible over your handshake arm.
7. Face time. If you are a night owl, go out, meet people, talk shop ( again, organize a dinner around common challenges ). If you're a morning person, post that you're hosting a walking/running g
roup at X time. You are here to make real connections, know your time of strength and work it.
8. Work those breaks! Don't huddle in the corner on your smartphone. Again, seek first to provide value and others will reciprocate. When you meet someone you know can provide value to others, take 10 cards from them and be sure to share them with others before you leave. 
9. Follow up, NOW. Before the conference get 100 blank cards. Return address and stamp them. Fill them out with "great to meet you" "let's book lunch" "that was a great session" "you should meet with " comments and post them before you leave the hotel for home.
10. Don't flush the experience. After the conference, give yourself at least two hours to follow up with emails and calls so you can reap the networking rewards of attending. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. That's not how you should treat a conference! Follow up, share contacts, book meetings - it's a momentum builder!
I hope these tips were of value. 
Much of what I have learned is because of the Shepa team. They have a high value conference kit brochure that SHOULD be on the list of every conference committee.
Happy networking, Paul
Ok ok let's have this talk
This is the time of year
when I explain to friends colleagues and co-workers
about my hobby of helping with weddings
Not a planner, I don't do all the work
Wedding number 7 dubbed us ( me and my partner in crime )
"wedding whisperers" in the tradition of the other great Ceasar
But WHY?
Let's address the evil reasons first:
*warning, this is going to make me look crazy
1. Jerry Seinfeld once said that public speaking was no.1 on the top fears list. Death was no.3! So people would rather be in the box than giving the eulogy!
When I was too junior to 'be allowed' to speak in front of people. This was a chance to do it on a time limit, in a high pressure situation and you are forced to make an emotional connection, as opposed to most public speaking opportunities. So many soft skills like project management, client service, vendor and peer professionalism - all business muscles get flexed and my role is to NOT be personal. I'm there to do business, not have a good time, so everyone else can.
2. I release my evil inner control freak - to do good! There are timelines, spreadsheets and it is all under my command. I have a binder and you don't. All the beautiful people will do as I say! Ah-haha haa haa aha *ahem. In a business and personal world where I insist on letting go, being flexible and open to dialogue, here is one place where a benevolent dictatorship can actually do some good
3. I can right wrongs. No one is paying me, I can do whatever the hell I want. SO! I WILL tell your rude aunt that today, she can't terrorize the bri
de by telling her "you look fat". Like a linebacker I'm on her like white on rice baby. I can shut down drunk uncle charlie, vet those dumb best man speeches and other "grab the mike" fools who derail so many important days. The focus is on the couple, this day WILL be beautiful, I WILL create some awe and wonder in this world so help me God.
Ok ok, on to the good reasons:
1. It allows the couple and the wedding party/family to actually have a great day. This is a big day, a big investment, a big change. Everyone around you is emotionally compromised. Myself and my partner manage things from 5am to the afterparty and encourage everyone to send ugly things our way. Don't ask your brother to handle the video camera, this is a big day for him too. Keeping things on time and on track is a lot of pressure, don't put it on someone who wants to celebrate with you, a semi-pro ensures your guests have a great time but aren't bored with 3 hours of inside joke speeches ( "member when we..." ). It is an honour to call out great people. The weddings I MC'd this summer were of two humble, kind, generous couples that would never let me praise them in public. The world needs more good people and on this day, they need to know, everyone in that room loves them and yes, they deserve it.
2. I'm not going to lie. I have a LOT of fun and learn so much ( we have learned Sikh, Punjabi, Chinese, Filipino and Seventh Day Adventist traditions - as the Globe and Mail recently said, cross-cultural learning is a business bonus ). I have also gotten so much closer with friends as a result of helping their big day be a perfect day. I have memories ( and war stories ) that will last forever. Most people will only be on the inside of a few weddings. I'm working on number 40.
3. I fall in love all over again every time. Again, I'm not going to lie, I am a ruthless romantic. My wife is a scientist who puts up with me and loves that I get it all out in the mosh-pit of love that is a wedding. Every ceremony I look at her, tears in my eyes and she rolls hers and thinks "here he goes again". But with babies, dogs and cats, make no mistake it helps me remember why I got into this deal "to the death" ( what a non-english speaking officiant once called a wedding during a ceremony )
After all, I'm a man. What are my options?
Watching sports, drinking beer,
scratching myself while watching sports drinking beer?
Whatever.
I'll stick with weddings.
The open bar doesn't hurt ...
